This week, for the Divine Feminine Project, I have been focusing on creation. On dancing, on expression. Something interesting happens when we play with creation: we stir up the old, the stuckness, the sludge that kept us back. That lethargy. That feeling of inability to get out of our chair, bed, to get up and move, create, sing, dance. Suddenly it’s in our face. It’s taunting us. Threatening to push us back down, force our heads under the water. And in that moment, we get to decide. We get to allow the momentum of our fears to overcome us, or to don warrior paint, to fly into battle, to dissolve the ego, to tear down the old and make room for the new.
An integral part of creation is destruction. Sometimes we need to delve into the depths of our beings, into the fucked up areas of ourselves, to emerge with that inner fire, that drive, the inability to sit, complacent.
I am not willing to be a pushover. I am not interested in being analyzed or handed out Freudian theories as my party favor for participating in this life. I demand respect. I demand, from the deepest essence of my being, to sound my voice. The guttural growl, the primal scream, the self that gets stuffed down, glossed over, tamed and bound. Fuck the “good girl” archetype. If you call me a good girl I will bite your goddamn nose off! I will not submit to your every wish. I’m not your genie, your prop, your ornamental jewelry. I am not here to make you look good. I am here to exist, to kindle the fire in my belly, I am here to live instinctually. It will be messy. I will spill blood from the depths of my being. I will cry and laugh and howl at the inappropriate times. No amount of biblical references, witch burning or body shaming can subdue me.
I am owning my wildness.
Warrior Kali, ignite the fiery burning in my belly. Give me the strength to live fully, destroying all false sense of self. Help me to reclaim the WILD essence of me. Allow me to rage, to destruct, to unleash the beast whose voice needs to be heard. Guide my blade as I eviscerate feelings of meekness, fear and doubt.