Divine Feminine Project – Week 5: Sexuality: Seduce Yourself
Welcome back beautiful beings, divine co-creators, sacred supporters of the divine feminine!
I’m shimmying through this project completely at my own pace, which means I get to make the rules, and the rules right now are: I am devoting another week to spending more time with exploring my sexual self. I feel like I’m settling into various aspects of it, and by doing so, healing so many other connects aspects of myself.
Last week I focused on activating the sacral chakra, of awakening that creative, emotional, sexual energy. Using the ClaryCalm essential oil blend and drinking the Women’s Energy tea were some of my favorite aspects – I truly felt like I was nourishing an aspect of myself that I had previously ignored.
This project has been such a fascinating adventure for me. Challenging? Yes. But if I ever tell you I don’t like a challenge, I’m probably just having a pouty, defeated kind of a day. Because oh, how I do love a good challenge. Namely, the ones I’ve pondered over and feel excited, if not ready, to tackle.
There is a truth I’ve been hiding for some time. You see, I enjoy being seen as modest and not at all intimidating. I’m approachable and friendly. I like to splay my faults out before me so everyone else can relax – my acne has always been tied to this aspect of me. There are times I’ve dressed up, but needed to mess something up a little, or dress down a bit, before I felt comfortable wearing it out in public. When I was young, I dreaded that moment of walking into school the day after getting an amazing haircut. The attention just felt so wrong. I never fantasized about having a big wedding — god no! The idea of that many people staring at me seemed like a cardinal sin.
Why? Today I identified a core belief I’ve been lugging around for ages: I believe that being truly happy in myself depletes from others’ happiness. That self-sacrifice is the crux of pleasing others, making them happy. If I’m getting attention, I’m taking it away from someone else more important.
Over these past few weeks, though, I’ve been musing on sexuality. What is it? What is “sexy”? Unfortunately, the word “sexy” brings to mind a woman in lingerie posed next to a Cosmo article on how to please one’s man. We are so often taught that being sexy is not FOR us. It’s not about doing what we love, what we’re passionate about, what fucking turns us on, and we’re so engaged and involved and sunk so deeply into the creative aspect of ourselves that nothing else matters.
Have you ever seen someone you’ve loved truly in their element?
What is sexier than that? What is more hallowed, holy and awe-inspiring but to witness the MAGNIFICENCE of someone in the universal flow? Willing to surrender their rational mind to trust in whatever Right Now is feeding their soul. In allowing that to be shared with everyone else. Creation is this massively vulnerable thing: to bare our souls to strangers, to anyone who wishes to see. It’s not always the perfectly edited version. Sometimes the most amazing sets are the stripped down, back to basics kind. Where the musician has a hangover and nobody in the band got enough sleep. There isn’t the slick production sound that most albums have. It’s this open, human, grounded thing that and there is no faking it. You can’t fake authenticity.
Tumbling all these thoughts around my brain, I thought, “I want to seduce myself.” I want to think I’m this amazing, sexy, magnificent creature. I want to swoon when I sit down to write, at the intensity of my own communion with the divine. When I channel healing energies through the clothing and jewelery and make up I wear. When I create tonics and
Teal talks about connecting with yourself sexually, masturbating, making love to yourself. But do many of us really feel like connecting with ourselves that deeply, emotionally? Are we just our own fuck buddies or are we lovers? Do we touch ourselves sensually because we feel a nagging urge to “get off” or we find ourselves to be irresistibly gorgeous, intelligent, sexy and talented?
When we’re so concerned with pleasing others, we can easily lose touch with what does turn us on. And when I say, turn us on, I mean the things that make us come alive. That rev our motors. That make us want to get out of bed in the morning. I fully realize that sometimes I’m trying to hard to please others than to keep in touch with what turns me on. I’m ready to reclaim that sense of myself, of finding myself irresistible.
This week, ask yourself the question: What turns me on? and do those things, as much as you can. Flirt with yourself. Write love letters to yourself. Recognize the artistry of your naked body – don’t just thrown clothes on mindlessly, take time to appreciate how they fit you, what feels good on your skin. Realize that you are this glowing, inspiring, powerful being who deserves to be admired, shown off, adored.
That’s what this week is going to be about for me. Seducing myself. Gettin’ down with my bad self. Yeehaw.
Click here to watch my youtube video on this topic!